*This article is part of a limited blog series to help other Projector entrepreneurs connect to resources and information to help them grow their businesses in a way that works for them.
For more resources, you can join the monthly Projectors Thriving newsletter (it’s free) and check out the Marketing for Projectors course. For additional Projector articles, click here.
If you’re new here, you’re likely a fellow Projector (I’m a 4/6 Splenic Projector, more about me at the very bottom of this article) and I’m wondering if you’ve had the same experience I’ve had trying to understand what being a Projector really means and more importantly, how to use it in life and business.
When I Discovered I’m a Projector
I discovered that I was a Projector in 2013 (ish) and it was a really negative experience. One that honestly took me a few years to heal from and realize that “waiting for the invitation,” wasn’t a curse. You can read more about my story here.
My two biggest frustrations with trying to learn about being a Projector are:
- People who are not trained adequately give inaccurate information because it creates so much harm
- Folks using flowery language full of spiritual jargon that is really hard to understand making it hard to apply in real life
Can you relate?
In this post, I want to break down a few simple things that took me years to understand so you can see how being a Projector can be applicable to your life and business now.
The Gift of Wallflowers, Observers, Guides, and Lighthouses (Projectors)
I’ve heard projectors referred to as wallflowers, observers, guides, and lighthouses.
Am I a wallflower?
Being a wallflower describes how I felt most of my young life, even sometimes now as an adult in my mid-40s. I often felt invisible when I was young and one of the biggest pains I experienced is when I wasn’t seen, acknowledged, or heard. And when I was misunderstood, that was really tough. I tried to fit in, which rarely worked. Part of this is being a teenager and knowing how Projectors operate, this makes a whole lot more sense.
I can see Projectors as a “wallflower” when we are in the shadow and not owning our power of being a Projector
Observer. Check.
It was in my early teens that I noticed I was different from other people. I would see how my friends, family, and other social circles would interact with each other and notice how complicated things got. This was always puzzling because I could see ways of doing things that could be easier. but when I would mention my ideas for a smoother process, I would either get frustrated because no one would listen to me or I would get a lot of pushback from people. I didn’t know how unsolicited advice is never a good idea, especially for Projectors.
Guide.
When I’m not swept up in overworking and doing too much, absolutely I’m the guide.
I’ve often been the friend and sister that people come to for advice. I’ve learned to not spew unsolicited advice because it always backfires, but more about that later. When I think about the times I’m most energized and most fulfilled, it’s when I’m being a guide. Then I discovered the coaching world and recognized that people actually PAY ME for being their guide.
A lighthouse?
I didn’t see myself as that until a few years into exploring what it meant to be a Projector. As my friend and Human Design expert, Kris Prochaska says to me, “Lighthouses don’t run up and down the beach begging people to come to them. They stand there. Steady. With their light turned on and they trust that the right people will come to them.”
When I allow myself to the lighthouse, a few profound things happen:
- I don’t attract or have drama in my space
- Business and money flow with more ease
- The anxiety I experience decreases significantly
- I recognize genuine invitations
- I have a much easier time “waiting for the invitation”
Embrace the Nuance: Not Every Projector is the Same
Here’s the thing – there are some foundational similarities between Projectors. But depending on your authority, which is how you make decisions, your profile, and the specific channels and gates you have defined or undefined, there is a lot of nuance within each person’s design.
Then you take an individual’s lived experiences, trauma, culture, environment, and the way their unique brains process information, and this means that no two Projectors are alike.
But by reading all of the awesome memes and articles on the interweb, it’s easy to think that what applies to one Projector, applies to all.
Or that there are better jobs or businesses for Projectors and you should only do one of those jobs. Not to mention this concept requires a ton of privilege, but again, there is nuance.
Something to be aware of:
Overall, be aware of people who say things like, “All Projectors do this. All Generators do this.” Unless someone knows YOUR specific design, nobody knows the details of who you are and even then, there is so much depth to explore. Are there generalizations, like what I’m even mentioning in this article? Yes. But there’s a whole lot more nuance.
What’s in this blog series:
This blog series isn’t designed to tell you all of the nuances within your design, because that’s impossible to do. without knowing your individual design. If you want to explore the depth of your design, hire a well-trained and qualified Human Design expert. Find someone you resonate with and that matches your budget. In the meantime, soak in all that you can without overwhelming yourself.
Hiring someone:
If hiring someone for a session is out of your budget, I really like the content that Erin Claire Jones shares, who is also a Projector. She was also one of the experts I hosted on the marketing for Projectors event, which has helped hundreds of Projector entrepreneurs understand how to market well as a Projector and according to their unique profile. You can learn more about that here if it resonates.
What this blog series IS designed to do is to help you decondition from the ways society has told us to be in order to be successful in your business.
Here are 6 basics (that I learned the hard way) to help you integrate your Projector gifts:
1. Deconditioning is ongoing.
Deconditioning is a word you’ll hear a lot and what this refers to is the shedding of the habits, behaviors, and thoughts that are not congruent with who you truly are.
This is not a checklist or one-and-done. Your family, environment, culture, trauma, lived experiences, and if you are neurodivergent then the way you process information and experiences is also part of your process.
Additionally, if you hold marginalized identities, you will have additional layers of deconditioning to do.
In addition to deconditioning the habits, views, and beliefs that you’ve been conditioned to operate within, you’re also tending to your nervous system that is supporting your sense of safety and self as well.
Whew! It’s a lot, right? And you’re doing this every day because you’re amazing – even when you feel like you’re not amazing.
In other words, what the world has told you to do and be is being looked at under a microscope with a spotlight so you can see what really fits you or not.
As you decondition, there are two common things I hear from Projectors:
- They realize they’ve been DOing too much and the hustle culture that we are swimming in as a society, is in fact, extremely toxic to Projectors.
- Their value has been derived from how much they DO, which creates a perpetual cycle of needing validation. The default mantra of, “Am I doing enough?” gets to be replaced with, “I guide and share my wisdom when I receive aligned invitations.”
This is all good news. Why? Let’s go onto tip #2:
2. We’re here to guide and usher in a new way of being.
As an entrepreneur, the formula for success is always the same:
Wake up earlier, drink your green smoothie, meditate and do yoga, hire a coach to learn their formula, then hustle all day. Work hard. Play hard. But work harder. Who’s already tired just be reading that? 🙋♀️
Who creates these formulas? Typically Generators, including Manifesting Generators, which make up 70% of the world’s population, and Manifestors, which make up about 9% of the population.
This means that the advertising, marketing, advice, and ways of doing things are designed by Generator types and Manifestors, FOR Generator types and Manifestors.
Most of the advice you see, read, and hear is literally NOT designed for you.
If you’ve ever wondered why you don’t feel like you quite fit in, this is a key reason why! (There’s NOTHING wrong with you – there is just a different way of doing things so you create the results that you desire.)
Projectors are here to show a softer way to create success. Softer does not mean weak or less-than. It’s powerful as hell. It’s creating monumental results. But not at the expense of your well-being, mental health, joy, or inner peace.
We are to show the path of least resistance.
However, there are a lot of folks who are absolutely committed to things being hard, and working hard is the way to get what you want.
That’s why waiting for the invitation is a wise strategy for us. Why would we waste our precious energy and wisdom showing people who are hellbent on things always being difficult? We show the people who are ready to be guided.
3. We see all of the pieces, but that doesn’t mean it’s our job to fit all of the pieces together.
As a Projector, you have a gift of insight. You see how things fit together and the way things can be done. Just because you see it, doesn’t mean you need to DO it.
But, damn, it’s frustrating to watch people do things in challenging ways when it could be so much easier, right? Don’t let that frustration suck you into doing things yourself.
If you’re in the mindset of, “It’s easier if I just do it myself,” you are likely not only robbing people of learning how to do things for themselves, but you are also likely working wayyyyyyy too hard.
4. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Really, don’t do it.
This is a big piece where “waiting for the invitation” is going to work out so much better for you and those around you.
Years ago, I had a conversation with my brother who was wondering about what he could do for work. He’s brilliant at personal training, nutrition, and all things health. He is a great coach. And so I started spewing ideas. “You could do this, and then you could do that. Oh, and then, you could do this. And I could help you get your website up and within 30 days you could be working with clients.” I was so excited for him!
Imagine my surprise when he got really angry with me and said, “Why do you always have to be so condescending?”
Wait, what???? I was genuinely shocked and didn’t know what he was talking about.
The reason why this backfired was that there was NO INVITATION to share what I saw with him. He was just venting about being worried about finding a new job. He did not ask me for a business idea let alone did he even hint at wanting to start a business.
Unsolicited advice is our nemesis. Just don’t do it. You’ll be happier (and a lot less bitter). And the people around you won’t feel judged.
It will be difficult to shut your trap when you see the obvious solution. But zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket. Wait until you’re asked for your sage wisdom.
It wasn’t until years later that I learned that I was a Projector. And then it took a couple more years to stop giving unsolicited advice.
5. Look for genuine invitations
What’s a genuine invitation?
Here’s what it’s not:
Being so flattered by an invitation that you immediately say yes only to realize that it’s not going to be a good fit.
Ignoring your intuition and the way you make decisions and talking yourself in or out of things. If you’re a splenic authority like I am, you will know very quickly what’s a yes and what’s a no for you. But dang… I’m really good at talking myself in and out of things. Honor what’s a true yes for you.
Look for this energy: if the invitation wants to get something from you vs co-create something with you, then that’s a tell-tell sign that it’s not a fit. You’ll feel the difference when the opportunity” wants to extract something from you vs genuinely having you share your wisdom.
For example, being invited to speak on a podcast and the invitation is all about what you can do for them. Like, you have to pay $500 and you have to send three solo emails to your email list about the podcast, plus share it on social media. The invitation doesn’t mention why you would be an awesome fit for the podcast or why they’re excited to have you as a guest.
Hmmmm…. The podcast wants your money and the eyeballs (and wallets) of the people on your email list. They don’t want to have a genuine conversation and have you share your brilliant wisdom.
See the difference?
6. We’re not designed to go, go, go.
This does not mean we create slower, or less than other people. It’s not harder for us to create what we desire.
An important note is if your current life circumstances make it difficult to stop DOing so much, you’re not a failure. Changing your schedule, for example, can take time. I share more about that in this article if you want to explore it.
Until we learn this though, I find a lot of Projectors get burned out and during phases of burnout, it appears as though our ability to manifest things is slowwwwwwww. Of course, our creativity dries up when we’re exhausted. Of course, things feel hard when we’re burnt out.
It doesn’t mean we are flawed or not following this ideal vision of what being a Projector is. It means we are human beings living in flawed systems and a hustle culture and this shit takes time to change. Be patient with yourself.
You’re right on time
Beyond these six keys to unleashing your Projector superpowers, there is more depth and nuance in your design. Remember that this isn’t a checklist or a destination.
You can’t mess this up. It’s who you are at your core and you’ll decondition the pieces and parts that aren’t you. Who you really are will shine more and more.
Trust the process and enjoy the journey. Life is too short to race to an imaginary finish line. You’re right on time for what’s meant for you.
