I’ve been thinking a lot about how to have big dreams and not apologizing for it.
If you’ve been on my list for a while, you may recall an article I wrote about the one phrase that women say that diminishes their dreams instantly.
It’s not “I’m not enough,” or “I’m wrong,” or even “I’m right.”
I’m not talking about when you legitimately mean it and you are apologizing, I mean when it prefaces simple questions like “I’m sorry, can you tell me the time.” “I’m sorry, I have a question about this item.”
It’s as if we say “I’m sorry for taking up this much space in the world.”
I’ve noticed that there are three primary areas where women apologize. It’s when they:
1. Ask for what they want.
2. Get what they want.
3. Want what they want.
There was a time this year that I actually believed for a moment that I wanted too much. I doubted the reality of my dreams and guess what? I co-created the perfect experience with amazing teachers to feed those doubts.
2013 has been a big year of transformation for me; it’s been big for a lot of people. I’m sure you can relate too right Angella?
Here is a very brief snapshot of my year:
- I’ve come out of the spiritual closet. I claimed my gift as an intuitive and Akashic Record reader.
- I changed my business model and more changes will be coming in 2014.
(Can’t wait to share them with you!) - I let go of a lot, including friendships, my made-up identity, and what I thought I should want. It was really hard at times.
- I walked away from opportunities that were really disguised distractions.
- I bought my own car in my own credit with my own credit. This was a really big deal for me since I killed my credit several years ago. (vulnerable confession moment)
- I went to Italy for two weeks for a Soul Vision retreat. I had some amazing spiritual experiences there.
- My life changed forever when I went to Africa for two and a half weeks and I saw how MOST of the world’s populations really lives. I saw joy like I’ve never experienced it. I saw pain like I’ve never seen.
This year I have dreamed big. So big in fact, that a few people in my life told me that my “dreams are too big.”
I remember hearing these words from some colleagues who I believe had my best interest at heart. They were amazing teachers for me and willing to speak their truth to me, even if I didn’t want to hear it.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear and that is exactly what happened. I was ready to learn that I want what I want and I’m not apologize for it. So I learned that through CONTRAST.
I interpreted their feedback as I was wanting too much from and for my life.
The real problem is when I believed them. Even just a few seconds or minutes at a time, I believed them.
It made me questions what I REALLY wanted.
I’m SO grateful because it gave me the opportunity to do two things:
1. Look at my support system externally and internally.
I realized I was in the wrong support circle and I wasn’t willing to admit that so the universe took care of it for me.
I also realized that the conversation in between my own two ears was and is FAR more valuable and accurate than what anyone can ever tell me. This feedback I was getting was only a mirror of something I had wondered myself “What if I DO want too much?”
2. Re-examine my dreams and claim them once again.
This also had me look at everything I said I wanted and looked it again and again until I got so damn crystal clear about my dreams, that I KNEW exactly what I wanted. Guess what? The answer surprised me.
I didn’t want to work with 30+ clients a year. I didn’t want to 14+ people in a “mastermind.” I didn’t want a seven figure business, not yet anyway. I didn’t want to play in the popularity contest that I created for my business.
I wanted to slow down. I wanted more joy and purpose in everything I did. I wanted to have more creative time and get back into pottery (something I loved during my ol’ college years.
And I wanted to be WOO and strategic. I wasn’t willing to hide out any more.
One way that we secretly apologize for what we want is by staying silent.
What do you really want? Have you told anyone who can support you?
Are you sabotaging your dreams by telling people you know won’t get it? But you convince yourself that maybe this time when you share your dreams and it will be different.
As you move into the heavy holiday season next week, consider this as you release what no longer serves you and stop apologizing for what you really want:
1. What is your support system like? Do you have one? Does is support you honestly? Does it stretch you? Is the support HONEST with you when it really counts?
2. Notice where you say “I’m sorry” either out loud or by staying silent.
3. What do you really want for 2014?
Stay tuned for an announcement I have that will be impacting the lives of some amazing SOULpreneurs. Maybe you will be one of them .
Love,
Angella
